After reaching adulthood, everyone takes on some level of independence that they didn’t have as a kid. It often comes naturally through childhood and teenage experience, but sometimes it might not. You can get ahead of this as a parent by actively working on teaching your children how to be independent. Get started early, and you’ll see the effects in no time as your children grow and mature with their autonomy.
1. Let Them Explore Their World
As your children make friends with neighbors and fellow students, they’ll begin wanting to go outside and explore with them. This can take the form of riding bicycles with other neighborhood children or going to the mall with friends. Either way, it’s a good idea to let them do so on their own, without adult supervision. There’s no better way for them to gain independence than by navigating the world on their own terms.
This isn’t to say that they don’t need – or at least that you don’t want – some level of supervision. Luckily, in this modern age, there are plenty of solutions to keep in touch, like a kids smartwatch or phone. Not only will you be in contact with them, but they can practice having a phone without the risk.
2. Introduce Them to Some of Your Responsibilities
People learn by watching others, and the adult world can be overwhelming if you’re thrust into it without any guidance. That’s why it can be very beneficial to introduce your children to some of the concepts you deal with daily. For example, you can include them in grocery planning to help them build a foundation for healthy eating and spending.
Forcing your child to pay realistic rent is undoubtedly inappropriate, but they’ll learn a lot by being taught about the concept. You could give them an allowance of $10, but charge $3 for rent and $2 for utilities. They can then choose to save or spend the remaining $5. This will give them a head start as they gain more responsibility in life. They can go into financial commitments with relevant experience and good judgment.
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3. Explain the Rules You Set
Raising a child is sometimes frustrating and stressful. You want them to have independence, but it takes time to develop. In the meantime, there will be moments where you set ground rules that your kid ignores or questions. It’s actually quite healthy for them to question rules and creates an ideal teaching opportunity.
When they do it’s tempting to say “because I said so,” but that will only lead to frustration for both. Try your best to explain the rules you set and why you set them. It can help your child understand the situation, rather than feeling alienated. Then they will be more likely to choose to comply.
4. Allow Them to Set Their Own Rules
It will take a while for their understanding of rules to come naturally, but once it does, capitalize on it. Use the opportunity to sit down with your child and give them a say in setting rules. Only the person themselves truly knows what works best for them, and their ideas may surprise you. Maybe they want to schedule bedtime fifteen minutes later because they would like to read.
On top of them knowing themselves the best, this can help develop a sense of self-discipline. If they have a hand in creating these boundaries, they’ll have a powerful foundation for doing so later in life.
5. Give Them a Chore-Dependent Allowance
A weekly or monthly allowance gives your child the freedom to make considerate financial choices from a young age. It teaches them to be smart with their money and get the most out of what they receive. Further, you can make that allowance dependent on a set of chores they need to finish each week. This teaches them money is earned.
Money can be a great catalyst for them to begin their responsibilities independently, decreasing their need for guidance. Ultimately, they’ll receive more if they do more, which teaches them the value of putting in effort for a result. Then they can practice financial responsibility and learn from that experience.
6. Adopt a Low-Responsibility Pet
Pets are great for children for a myriad of reasons. They provide companionship, emotional support, and help pass the time. They can also make a great lesson in responsibility because of their need to be taken care of. With younger children, it’s best to start with animals that require a low amount of responsibility to keep them healthy. Possible options include fish, guinea pigs, or sea monkeys depending on the space you have at home.
Explain that it’s your children’s responsibility to research, feed, and care for pets – although you’ll secretly be there for emergencies. Caring for a pet is a step in the right direction toward knowing how to take care of others.
School is, by default, a child’s main source of independence and education on independence. But it’s your ability to foster it at home. So do your best to help your child grow into the adult they’re truly capable of being. From there, the sky will be the limit, and they can soar on their own terms.
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