Doctors are lifesavers. They help us to get well from many sicknesses. Also, many people owe their lives to them. That is why it is one of the noblest professions. But some mannerisms of the doctors do make us laugh. For instance, their way of writing the prescriptions in their unique handwriting is one of them. We cannot understand it a bit.
In the daily life experience of some patients they come across doctors who make them laugh. This is because they may have some funny characteristics. Therefore, sometimes even the morbid of times in the hospital can turn out quite funny. So here are some of the best doctor jokes for you. The jokes are silly and will make you laugh out loud. Doctors also accept that laughter is good medicine. Therefore, why not read the best doctor jokes given here and have a good time. Then your whole day will be positive.
Man: “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
Doctor: “Is this her first child?”
Man: “No, you idiot! This is her husband!”
It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d…
A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter’s strange eating habits.
–“All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”
–“Eventually,” said the consultant, “she will rise and shine.”
Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.”…
Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself.
Me: Where did you get hurt?
Patient: Aisle six. —John Munshower, DO, Media, Pennsylvania
One day, a woman walks into a doctor’s office with a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear.
“What’s wrong with me?” she asks the doctor.
“You’re not eating properly,” he replies.
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.
Doctor: “I have some bad news and some very bad news.”
Patient: “Well, might as well give me the bad news first.”
Doctor: “The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.”
Patient: “24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”
Patient: “Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.”
Doctor: “Sit down and don’t stir.”
How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
A doctor walks into a staff meeting with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. A nurse asks him why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
The doctor grabs the thermometer, looks at it, and exclaims, “Damn, some a**hole has my pen!”
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!”
Doctor: “When did that happen?”
Patient: “When did what happen?”
Patient: “Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.”
Doctor: “You can pay by cash, check, or money order.”
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.”
“But, I don’t have the fingers!”
“Why didn’t you bring the fingers?!” asks the incredulous doctor.
“Doc, I couldn’t pick them up.”
A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girl’s strange eating habits.
“All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”
“Eventually,” said the doctor. “She will rise and shine.”
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Also read: 25 Dirty Mind Jokes That Are Not Really Adult At All
